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A Comfort That Shouldn’t Be {Depression and a Healing Miracle: Why I Am No Longer ALONE} — 45 Comments

  1. Wow. You have such a powerful and beautiful story of God’s love and healing. I’m so glad you write about it – so many people need to hear the hope that’s in your experience. My greatest sadness is knowing there are people in the world who feel alone and doomed in their torment. May God’s love and truth in your life be the reason others are set free.

    I’m glad we are connected and share so much similar history and healing. Blessings to you.

    • Lori,
      I thank you with all my heart for the encouragement! I am thankful for every glimpse the Lord gives me when my story – HIStory through me – does set people free. I am just as thankful for all He does that I may not get a glimpse of because I do this for Him and that is all I need.
      I look forward to getting to know your story better.
      God bless you!
      – Heather

  2. Heather, I would like to reblog this on my blog and even translate it into spanish. My husband and I work with prostitutes, drug addicts and will be working with victims of human trafficking as well and your testimony is a first hand account of triumphing through your choice to choose Jesus. I believe that medicine will help a person feel normal so that they can choose, but not a means by which to stay in forever. Correct me if I am wrong, please. Let me know if I can reblog it.

    • Hello Adeline,
      Thank you so very, very much for your kind and encouraging comment about my life story. I would be honored for you to reblog it. I ONLY do this for Christ and what He has done for me needs to be heard. As He uses it then I know am inside His calling. There is no shame or condemnation in Him who loves us so. So I feel no shame but honor to tell my story!

      I do not believe you are wrong, in fact I agree – medicine is something God uses to bring people to a grounded place sometimes. He has many methods but it is all a choice by us in the end. I have not taken the medicine for 16 years since the night I got healed. I will be writing about that in the next week or so. You may or may not want to use that part 2 right away in your mission but it will be there for those you feel led to share it with as well. It will be less about the medicine and methods and more about the choice of just letting God be God in our lives. In fact my whole blog is about just that – It is all about the relationship with Him.

      May God bless your work mightily!!!
      Please keep in touch. I’d love to hear about your mission more!

      • Thank you. It will only be used to help people be set free, not to exploit you or anyone else. God bless you richly.

        • You are welcome. I would love to have a copy of the Spanish version if you could share it with me. I might have use for that in our church. It is very diverse! Thank you!

  3. Reblogged this on Dancing In The Storm and commented:
    I read this today and felt that the author, Heather Mertens has written on something that is destroying many lives and is very relevant today but has also shown firsthand how when she CHOSE to not walk alone, but with her God, she began to experience the freedom and life that can come only from Him, which can transform us from the inside out.

    • Yes He IS, Geraldine! Yes He most certainly is! Thank you for sharing in my joy. 🙂
      There’s much more to come.
      – Heather

  4. Reblogged this on Where are you… Where are you Going? and commented:
    The self loathing was a ‘beyond my control, caught in my throat’ kind of oppression. It led to the most emotionally excruciating pain I have ever experienced. The conversations in my mind were increasingly evil. So loud, yet they somehow made perfect sense to me.

    I planned ways to die. I yearned deep in my soul to leave the pain behind forever. I saw no end in sight. I would hear a voice whisper with such evil force, “You are not worth anything.” That was an awful voice, but it was familiar.

    Yet, I faintly heard another voice that never left me. Screaming, in the most comforting way, to help me.

    • Yes He Is!!! 🙂
      Thanks for sharing my story, Walter. It was not lived in vain if it points others to Him.

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  6. Heather, my own story parallels yours on several points. My parents divorced when I was a baby. He gave me up for adoption, though, becoming “dead” to me. What’s worse, he gave me up to a man who hated my dad’s guts…and took it out on me in countless ways. Trauma was such that I developed DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder).

    The voices…oh how I hated the voices. Thank the Lord, they’ve been silenced!

    I attempted suicide a few times…no note, no drama, I just wanted out. I thought my continued existence meant even God didn’t want me. Oh what a cruel enemy we have!

    It took almost forty years before God’s love for me finally broke through. Now I know that I am His beloved, and that is enough. God is so very good!

    o/
    Singing His praise!

    • Thank you so much dear friend for sharing this with me. Email me so we can talk about sharing your story further – maybe in my book or another idea I have for online. I’m collecting stories – these GLORY STORIES!!!

      • Will do. There’s so much to tell. I just returned from my “check-up” with my pastor’s wife, Barbara. We marveled together at the work the Lord has done in me these last eight years. I am a freaking walking miracle – I am boasting in the Lord here, for He has done it all! We cried and praised – there was nothing to work through. Wow!

  7. In some ways we are not so different… I had a dysfunctional childhood as my father had been restrained from our home by the time I was born …he was an alcoholic,gambler and womanizer… I was the last of 10 children and I missed not having a father growing up a great deal. I was plagued with depression for most of my adult life (even when Iook back in some of my childhood years).. It would come and go and I was a Christian and calling out to God … I managed to raise 3 beautiful children with my husband. But I can remember even now a couple (maybe more) but very specific instances when satan paid me a visit …I felt ‘evil’ all around me and grabbed my Bible and prayed… and eventually he left, I have been free from depression for about 4 + years now but recent events are causing me to stress but with God’s help I will not go back to that awful place where I too just despaired of life…. Diane

    • Diane
      Thank you for sharing so candidly. I also read your more current post about this difficult time.
      I shared this with someone today and would like to share it with you:

      Not all situations are the same, and neither are God’s plans for each of us. But one Truth remains for us to grasp tight of… He will help all that call on Him. Some of us just need to call on Him several hundred times a day when going through something BIG. And He is okay with that.

      Continue to focus on Him. In every single moment.

      Praying for you,
      Heather

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  10. Awesome comment ” Fighting without God is like losing before you even start. “! Wow we hav had very similar experiences concerning illness of the mind. Different overall symptoms, but same enemy, and same final positive outcome. What an awesome God we serve!

    • I know, Cheryl! His awesomeness is so overwhelming to me when I focus in on Him alone. What He brought me through has made me who I am today … being transformed into what He has planned. 🙂 I am sure you feel the same since the really hard things we went through opened our eyes and hearts to it. Amen!

  11. Oh Heather, what a story, what a God!! Let that hole be filled….so thankful you never gave up and that promise you made to your mother kept you from doing anything drastic. But more importantly God’s hand on your life kept you until you could find your way HOME….Thank you for sharing this again because I didn’t know you in February friend. ♥

    • Nannette,
      I just love your heart to pieces!! You encourage me more than words could ever express, so I’ll just have to let Holy Spirit tell you. ❤️

      Love you sister!!

      • Silly, you aren’t any “foggier” than me! It’s really Nannette.. 🙂 but I answer to anything! Blessings dear friend. You have been a true encouragement to me these past nine months! ♥

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  14. What a testimony, Heather! Thank you so much for sharing with us. God is always enough for us…all it takes is to keep on turning towards him. Thanks for linking up to Testimony Tuesday!

    • Holly, I’ve been wanting to link up with you for quite some time! I figured my testimony was a good place to start, right?! God is always enough for us, yes! <3

  15. I love this. <3 I know the reason I love reading this is because it's a testimony of some of the things I know so well…and God's amazing victory over the "stuff" of life. You encourage me. Always.

    • Jennifer,
      I don’t know how I missed this comment! Oh yes… menopause brain, fibro fog, or it could be wordpress-chaos. Hee hee.
      I really appreciate your words, your love, your friendship. If you ever want an ear to listen and a heart of encouragement about your story… I am here. Always.

      XOXO.
      Heather

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  17. Oh my sweet Heather. You have gone through so much. I was encouraged by your testimony. I trust that someday my daughter will be healed. His timing is perfect. Thank you for letting us know Bipolar is not a death sentence. He can transform it into life – life more abundantly.

    • Oh Chris! How on earth did I miss this comment last summer! I am sooo sorry! My wordpress is wonky sometimes. :-/ I know you and I chatted on FB, and still do, but I want to thank you for this lovely comment. I am praying for your daughter. <3

      • Thank you for your reply. She is bi-polar so the ups and downs continue. I have had to let her go because if I don’t she will never feel desperate enough to do something about it and takes her meds. It’s easier to take it out on mom and let her do the worrying,crying and yes, praying. I am who I am today because of things that happen to me. God allows what He allows and all things work together for good.

  18. Pingback:Beating Chronic Pain: Healing and Hope Inside His Plan {Part 1} | 40YearWanderer ~ ~ ~ Heather Mertens

  19. You have written a beautiful story, I am a new Christian learning to walk with God. God has helped me heal from so many emotion throughout life. I lived with an alcoholic husband for so many year and now I walk free with God. I am trying to put my story together but it is a challenge so far it is on my blog.

  20. Heather, so powerful, so hard, so true! My dad walked out, left us – and we are not designed for fatherlessness. It took me a long time, not until I was 40, to learn God was Father, loved me like I was his favorite, but I will say when I met him as God when I was 5 I hung on for dear life and didn’t let go. It’s like that story where someone goes on a cruise but never eats because they don’t have the money for it and then discover at the end that the food was included!We’re God’s girls sweet friend – and I am so glad He saved us both. Brave girl, thank you for sharing your story – praying that it reaches those who need it and find out our Father adores them, too! Praying God’s Shalom in your week sweet friend!

    • Dear Sweet Sweet Friend, I am so overwhelmed with all that is going on in my life right now that I forgot again that I received a notification that you took time to encourage me here. I’m so sorry. 🙁 I adore you and your heart to love on others for Jesus. I’m so happy that we both have been rescued from the pit and that we can call each other Sister. ❤️ I’m in a pit right now, one even deeper than I wrote about on this page. But He is right there again, lifting me up and out. Love you dearly. Thank you for your friendship. Prayers and love, too.

  21. Heather, thanks for sharing your testimony in such detail. It is and will continue to be a healing testimony to people everywhere. I’m glad you pressed into Jesus and allowed Him to be your all in all. I like your statement, I plus He equals WE. That’s awesome.

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